thin, white duke …

The only thing I like more than Halloween is dressing up. So yes, I really like Halloween. Still not sure what I’m going to be this year. I’m considering sexy Donald Trump because, you know, I can be “pretty stupid” sometimes (insert rim shot here).

Cruising the thrift shops is a great way to get inspired. Or Marcs. I still have a pair of tights that look like blinged-out jeans that I need to work in somewhere. Discount bins at regular costume shops are also a great way to go. I’ve had a couple nice finds in those, including a ridiculous muscle man outfit.

And that is usually the other part of the equation. I usually try to pick some that is a perfect fit for me, someone tall and skinny like Ziggy Stardust, or someone who is a complete 180, like muscle dude.

Also, both hands free to ensure I can consume beverages at a copious rate and something that people can interact with, either physically or spiritually. You know, like when the slutty librarian wants to take a picture with you because her mom or grandmother really liked Bowie.

So what to be? Totally open to suggestion, if you have any. Or I’d love to hear what some of your favorite costumes have been. Here’s a few of mine in no particular order.

I was actually able to get a picture where these ladies were making appropriate contact with me.

Ziggy Stardust – Well, the make up is actually Aladdin Sane but people LOVE Ziggy!!! I really do know what it feels like to be a rock star. Won $600 at a costume contest last year with this get up, as well as the adoration of many hands-on fans. Squeee!

 

Magic 8-Ball – Until Ziggy came along, this was the most fun. Homemade and it actually worked. It’s amazing what people will ask you when they get drunk. I may have actually decided someone’s wedding plans. And you better say Yes if you don’t want them to shake the shit out of you again. Fourth place in this one.

 

Paper doll – So this made way more sense to people who actually played with these when they were kids. (I did an updated version for a recent group run and nobody knew what I was) Another homemade item. Giant markers and some well-placed velcro will get you far in this life. Women dressed and undressed me all night. It was kind of okay. Third place in this one.

 

Muscle dude – A $10 bargain bin pick up and a leftover wig from days gone by. I really need to add another leg day.

 

Bee man – If you know anything about me and puns, I wasn’t able to bee-have myself all night. Yes, I know that stung, honey.

 

Pee Wee Herman – They got cut off in this picture, but I wore white clogs all night and they played “Tequila” wherever I went. And yes, those are wine coolers. It was the 80s after all.

 

Tres mascots – Then there was the year that my daughters told me they wanted to be mascots. To save money, I made their costumes. Bwahahahaha. Yeah, like that ever works out. Anyway, a little paper mache later and they were pretty happy. They walked around the neighborhood and didn’t say a word all night. I think I was pretty happy too.